Posted by: drinkchai | August 26, 2007

One week of work.

Work is great. Completely unemotional and not a feel-gooder at all. A perfect job. I am a proper, well-oiled corporate drone and I love being it, no masking, no saving the world, no cool factor, nothing. Just a plain job that needs intelligence, understanding of ERP systems and a strict 8-5’er with a good solid pay.

I leave work at work (so far at least) and seems like that’s how it will be.

I’m writing my 3rd song since I’ve been here. It’s the most personal one I’ve ever written and I’m choking up or crying at every line that I craft. It’s forcing me to be more honest with it and I comply. What the?

It’s asking me “Can You Make Me More Real?” and I do it with tears.

As a result it’s involved a lot of introspection and I look around to see where I am in my life-path and what  really matters to me.
Today I’ll call Idlemuse. Can’t wait to meet the rascal in training = Bujji and give him a big kiss.

Going to look at one apartment in SF and one in Oakland after which I’ll be done apt hunting for a few days as I hae another week or training + production support out in Fairfield.

Have a good week.

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Responses

  1. >Work is great. Completely unemotional and not a feel-> gooder at all. A perfect job

    Hmmm… doesn’t this go a little contrary (like 180 degrees) to your emotion-in-everything mantra at the yogashram, and against your prior campaign in NYC to raise the validity and necessity of the emotional component in all matters of life? I have vivid memories of you picking apart SC for his “unemotional, cold, functional job with zero emotional connection to the world and his friends/family because of his troubled childhood and now his wife keeps him in the same unemotional place” – wait wait he’s in the closet sooo that’s different 🙂

    If it’s really true that you are working for K****r P********* (and I’m hoping it’s just a wild rumor) – then I find it difficult to reconcile that to some of your stated world-views – social justice, equity (of races, gender, sexualities and income), fairness, positive impact, holistic lives and yes emotional awareness. If you moved from NYC and the corporate life to BE a musician not just skirt the life of one, then this choice is difficult to understand. Kinda like a sumo wrestler who signs up for the IronMan, practices for 4 yrs, drops to 10% body fat after much exercise and discipline, then moves to Cali and signs up as the sales rep for MacDonald’s and starts talking about how healthy those large fries and how much IQ it takes to make those perfectly golden turds of refried potato-ish chemicals!

    I hope you realize that I am genuinely puzzled, and this question is offered in the context of reasoned and thoughtful life choices as you have been seeking to make. I admire your decision to choose your own life, and I hope you continue to do so. -SG

  2. Sorry I’m not following completely this post. What is your question?

    You can also call me if you like. If you don’t I will as I want to know what you are trying to say/ask.

  3. Woaaah SG thats a little rough. I dont think drinkchair went to CA to save the world or be his music – I think he was always in a state of figuring out what he wanted from life – and at this moment its the stability of a non-suck-your-soul-after-5-pm well paying job which will give him the peace of mind to pursue his songwriting. Why is that hard to reconcile?

  4. Who said anything about saving the world? And evidently you had different conversations, but I’m certainly not imagining long conversations about following the muse and leaving corporate (and later nonprofit) NYC to live and breate music.

    What I find hard to reconcile is a) the notion that any job is now ok – even one with one of the most egregiously policy-based misogynist, racist, homophobic and betrayer of the public and shareholder trust employers in the US – after hearing drinkcoolaid rip apart many people’s choices at work and life including SC’s; and b) that a lack of the emotional life at work is now welcome, after a similar tearing apart of others’ choices to view emotion as unnecessary and avoidable.

    I am very allergic to hypocrisy. I also think I have a fundamentally different approach to friendship than you, and this came out when drinkchai was on his way out of NYC as well. I believe in stakeholding, haranguing, sometimes annoying friendships that deliver value where they can, because these are the sort of relationships that mold my life, more than family. I think I share this with drinky.

    DC I’m sorry I have not been able to call. It’s been insane and I am looking forward to school and a more thoughtful, deliberate life. Talk to you soon,

    -S

  5. DC come out of your closet already and answer the charges! Why the hypocrisy?!! Who is this SC you were berating so shamelessly? Tell All!
    SG I think friendship is far broader than being the voice of judgement. And this discourse needs far more thought than I can currently offer with bujji literally screaming in my ears. Until then my mateys stop drinking the cool aid (i always thought it was spelled Kool aid).

  6. Idly, nice try with the “I don’t have time for this but let me slide in my zinger” 🙂 I’ll shock you here – I don’t think my comments are judgmental and I’m sorry you perceived them so. I’m pretty sure DC doesn’t. My intention is to be honest and supportive from my limited lens and limited capacity to support. And to NOT be cavalier and anything goes, because that type of friendship has not served me well. To each his own. Now I’m off to chug my COOL aid. -SG

  7. Does Idly rhyme with idli? As in the food? Yes, I re-read the post, yes you were not judgemental yes I am eating crow and sipping cool-aid. I think we all have our version of cavalier and yours perhaps is a tighter one than mine.

  8. The reply to my post is not asking any questions so I don’t know what to address specifically. SG – we need to talk more, especially since you are referring to conversations that are almost 4 years old. Yes I do work for KP but honestly I’ve not done any research on them. So your rant comes across as a bit vindictive.
    Maybe you are terribly upset and disappointed at me working for KP, maybe that’s all it is or maybe you are also angry and miss SC, if that’s the case you should let him know.

    As your post has a lot of comparative stories without exactly being clear, it does accuse me of being a hypocrite indirectly. If that’s how you see me that is OK but trust that I am not. Om.

    Miss you and I wish we had this discussion live/face to face.
    Should you be interested, new lines of thinking will be posted in “Two weeks of work” soon.

  9. Hey Idly-65, see you tomaro.


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